THE GIVE AND TAKE OF GREED

I had a small fender bender with quite a minor whiplash,

A condition, if faked, would be worth some hard cash.

So I met with the local legal beagle for an hour of his free legal advice,

And while we were meeting, miraculously my injuries doubled in size.

During the free hour, he questioned me only about tombstone information,

Ignoring all my questions that would result in me getting free legal advice.

Clearly, he had no intention of giving something of worth without compensation,

And I had no intentions of paying a fee for such a non-informative exercise.

The cat and mouse game

That we were playing

Goes without saying

Was primarily the same.

He announced that my free time was up, and gratuitously, then some

With less than a half page of notes, he said, the clock had finally run.

I was astonished, as I learned nothing during these 60 minutes with him.

I was not even told, though I asked, as to what my chances were of a win.

He had become a tiger now and asked important questions of me,

Not the least of which was, how will I pay his $500 an hour fee?

Before I could answer he put a written retainer in front of me to be signed,

Requiring prepayment of a $5000 deposit, which I promptly declined.

I told him I would read it and take it with me,

And let him know what my decision would be.

I left his office whole, as I paid him nary a penny

In return for his meaningless and worthless non-fee.

He lost an hour of productive time,

And I too wasted an hour of mine.

Yet, in the end, I truly felt great in not pursuing my phony claim,

And in depriving my would-be lawyer of his high fees for the same.